Jaffar's Treachery
by Swordmaster-2000
Summary: Oh no! Jaffar has an evil plan, and he has nino! Will the best prepromote and the RNGproof girl take over the world? Uhh... maybe...
1. The Beginning

Jaffar's Treachery

Warning: Contains some bad language

Disclaimer: I dont own FE, or any characters in this fanfic...

Sonia was walking through a corridor of the Dragons Gate when she saw... _him_. Jaffar, the Angel of Death. She said hello, but he didnt respond. 'I like pie', he thought.

"Are you okay?", Sonia asked. Jaffar was still being unusually silent. 'Why is this bitch bothering me', he thought

"Can you hear me?", she asked. Jaffar still didnt respond. Did he not like her? Was he just being selectively deaf? She had lost all patience.

"NINO!" She shouted. She was hoping to talk to her daughter, who was the only person who knew what Jaffar was saying.

"Yes mother?" Nino said, after rushing from her studies.

"Jaffar's refusing to talk", Sonia said. "What's he saying?"

"Jaffar says he likes blueberry pies. Oh, and he hates you.", Nino said. She was only being honest.

"I cant believe it!", Sonia shouted. She then left the room in a huff.

"I can believe it", Nino said. She too hated her 'mother'. "What? What evil plan? why was I not informed of this?"

It seemed that Jaffar had a plan... a very evil plan... Nino began to smile evilly. A real first...

R&R! Or Jaffar will kill you!


	2. Training

Warning: Contains some bad language

Disclaimer: I dont own FE, or any characters in this fanfic...

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"Yes, I like books. Why?", Nino asked. She was helping Jaffar with his evil plan (that she honestly thought she deserved to know about sooner). "Oh, you need me to read this book?", she said, looking at a book titled, 'Being Evil for Smart People'.

"Nino, where are you?", a voice called.

"In my room!", Nino shouted back.

"Good! Pleased to hear it!", the voice said. Jaffar gave Nino a strange look.

"You think he's onto you?", Nino enquired. Jaffar said nothing (typical Jaffar). "Yes, I'm trying to read the book but I keep getting distracted!", she said. Jaffar got the message.

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Elsewhere:

Eliwood was walking through the grounds of Castle Pherae when he heard a rampaging horse. He ran to investigate, but it was only Lowen being... well, Lowen.

"Are you okay, Lowen", the Lord asked the kinght.

"Yes, I'm fine Mi'lord", Lowen replied, "It's just... well ever since I got married my horse has been acting strangely."

"Have you been giving him breakfast?", Eliwood enquired.

"Erm, no", Lowen answered...

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Dragons Gate:

Nino was practising being evil. She went out into the garden and started buring squirrels, cackling evilly as she did so. Nergal was intruiged by Nino's strange behavior, so he asked her what was wrong.

"Oh, nothing, Grandpa", she said. "I was just practising being evil."

"Well, good for you!", Nergal said, ruffling Nino's hair. He was proud of his grand-daughter, but especially so when she was being evil. "Now, go burn some more squirrels. Oh, and the flowers Ephidel planted last month", he continued. "Stupid pansy of a morph", he added under his breath.

Jaffar was staring at them from the conservatory door. 'No! You're ruining it you old coot!', he thought.

"Hey, Jaffar", a voice said. It was Ephidel. Jaffar merely turned around. "Jaffar", Ephidel said, "have you seen my teddy bear?". Jaffar said nothing, but he did raise a slight smile.

'Yep, I saw it', he thought, 'I ripped it apart and flushed it down the toilet. He didnt say this of course.

"And what happened to Mr. Tiddles?", Ephidel asked. Jaffar knew, but he didnt tell Ephidel. He left the room. "Hey, Jaffar! Wait!", Ephidel shouted, to no avail...

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R&R or Jaffar will tell you what he did to Mr. Tiddles!


	3. OUT OF ORDER!

Warning: Contains some bad language

Disclaimer: I dont own FE, or any characters in this fanfic... except for Mike!

Fiora: Who's Mike?

Me: I am not at liberty to reveal that information

Fiora: It's you, isnt it?

Me: On with the fic!

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Mike was still getting used to Pherae. Still, at least it was nowhere near as hot as the Nabata Desert. Thank Elmine for that Pegasus Knight... what was her name, Fiora? If he had been there for a day longer, Elmine only knows what would have happened.

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Nino was enjoying her newfound life of evil. Any who saw her thought she was evil, not the bubbly little girl that she used to be. Jaffar had changed too. He seemed a lot happier than usual... was there something he wasnt telling Nino? Nergal seemed happier now that his grand-daughter was being evil. Ephidel seemed worse off though... poor guy, must be hard, losing all your teddy bears.

"Hey, Jaffar, what keeps happening to my teddies?", Ephidel asked the next time he saw the assassin.

"Jaffar says he doesnt know and dosent care", Nino answered for him.

"My God, I swear you know that man too well", Ephidel said.

"Is there a problem with that?", Nino retorted.

"Everything's gone upside down!", Ephidel wailed. "This is out of order, Swordmaster-2000! You hear me! OUT! OF! ORDER!"

"Jaffar says who the hell is Swordmaster-2000?", Nino said. She, too wanted to know.

"He's the guy thats twisting us!", Ephidel shouted, shaking his fist at the sky "YOU HEAR ME, SWORDMASTER-2000? IF YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE A FIRE EMBLEM FANFIC, AT LEAST KEEP US IN OUR RESPECTIVE CHARACTERS!"

"Jaffar wants to know what you're on and he wants some as well", Nino said.

"Jaffar, I'm on coffee and theres some on the kitchen ledge.", Ephidel said.

"Okay. Come on Jaffar, we're going to get some coffee", Nino said, going into the kitchen with Jaffar.

"I worry about those two", Ephidel said, "but I worry about Swordmaster-2000 even more."

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Okay, guys and girls, I think we'll call it quits for now.

Fiora: Please tell me you've decided to stop the madness...

Me: Would you like to know what I had planned for Eliwood's Christmas Party?

Fiora: Is mistletoe involved?

Me: I am not at liberty to confirm nor deny that statement.

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R&R or Fiora will kill me!


	4. Little History Lesson

Warning: Contains some bad language

Disclaimer: I dont own FE, or any characters in this fanfic... except for Mike!

Okay, guys and girls, I'm making this chapter mainly about Mike, seeing as we WILL need to know a lot about him later on.

Mike: Why thank you.

Fiora: I'm still convinced Mike is you, Swordmaster-2000

Me: Er, ON WITH THE FIC

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Mike was not happy. He'd spent the last few weeks traversing a boiling desert (which still didnt make up for being rescued by a very good looking Pegasus Knight), and was stuck in a bed because he broke his arm in a fight. Okay, so he was pratically dead, but who cares?

He was walking through the desert when he was ambushed by bandits. They asked for what every good bandit asks for: money.

"Soz dudes, I'm broke. Now go harass an old lady or something", he'd said. Real smart move, and he knew it was a mistake the moment the bandits drew their weapons. Luckily (at the time at least), he had his ever- trusty Blade of Vanimos, the blade of Eternal Winds, which he quickly drew. The bandits rushed him, but he twirled his blade in circles, causing a sandstorm that knocked several bandits off of their feet. However, even with the winds on his side, Mike was still hopelessly outnumbered.

As the leader of the bandits leapt at him, Mike raised his blade in a desperate attempt to block the blow. Unfortunately, he misjudged it and the mace smashed his left arm. This left him in a rage, he seemed to split into many people, and he cut through them like a hot knife through butter. They were soon all dead. Unfortunately for Mike, he was very nearly dead too (cloning yourself to massacre a group of bandits is a hefty job, especially with one (working) arm). He collapsed on the ground, hoping a miracle would happen...

And a few days later he awoke in a small house in Pherae.

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Fiora: What did you call me?

Me: Er... nothing?

Fiora: Damned Fanfics... Why do they pick on me?

Me: Er... no reason.

Fiora: I'm not convinced... are you sure you're not Mike?

Me: Yes.

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R&R or Fiora will kill me!

P.S: I am Mike but dont tell Fiora...


	5. Summary So Far

Warning: Contains some bad language

Disclaimer: I dont own FE, or any characters in this fanfic... except for Mike!

Fiora: So you're telling everyone you own yourself.

Me: We've gone over this Fiora. I AM NOT MIKE! Sain, tell her!

Sain: Swordmaster-2000 is not Mike. Though I know a little-

Me: and that's all we have time for folks! Er, on with the Fic!

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Nergal was at the Dragons Gate reminiscing of all the good times he'd had reading through the archives of books in Arcadia. Thousands upon thousands of books, just waiting to be read. He gave up, hours, days, even years of his life to read through that archive. Man that was one big archive, but it was all worth it when he learnt how to use other living things' energy to fuel himself. He does not eat. He does not sleep. All he does is plot. Evil plots, in fact. Plots so evil the government would pay millions to hear about... if the government existed.

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Mike however was contemplating the numerous things he would do if his arm wasnt broken. Possibly including cuddling, probably... no, wait, make that 90 percent sure that they would include throttling the woman who was keeping him there (never trust a teal- haired Pegasus Knight with your life), even though she saved him. He constantly blamed himself for his losses, but had no idea what was to come.

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Ephidel was mourning nothing however, unless you count hundreds of cuddly toys, his cat, several chipmunks and his nice fluffy pillows. It was all Jaffar and Nino, but neither would admit to it. Nergal knew it was them, but he heartily congratulated them for it (Ephidel's a pansy, he said), and didnt tell Ephidel what was happening. Sonia was very tempted to however (a few warning looks from Jaffar said 'do it and I'll kill you' though, so she didn't). Life at the Dragon's Gate was changing drastically.

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Some things never changed though. Eliwood is still a wuss, Ninian is still quiet, Hector is still a (thankfully not drunk) loudmouth, Kent is still dutiful, Sain is still a womanizer, Florina is still scared of men, Farina's still a mercenary, Raven is still aggresive, Heath still has his honour and so on and so forth.

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Mike was warming to Fiora, however. It seems if you coop a person up for long enough with just one other person, you start to like them (Fiora can thank Elmine that Mike is nothing like Sain when he wants a girl). His thoughts for when his arm healed turned to cuddles rather than throttles. His long days of rest and nourishment soon took their effect, and the day of his departure came ever closer...

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And to think that seven years ago Mike was concerned about grazes on his knee. Over the last seven years he has had to deal with various monster bites, scratches, cuts, bruises, burns, electrocutions, poisons and so on and so forth. However before coming to Elibe, Mike had averted a terrible calamity, but that is another tale for another time.

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Fiora: So what is the terrible calamity?

Me: Er... you will find out in due course.

Fiora: And your thoughts?

Me: Absolutely nothing.

Fiora whacks Me over the top of my head with a Spear

Me: Ow...

Fiora: Pervert.

Me: No, that is Sain's job

Fiora: Ah, good point...

Fiora beats Sain with a broom handle

Me: That looks painful winces

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R&R! Or... I'll get Serra in here!


End file.
